growing years

there were the years

I felt I was something special

no scars burns limbs missing

nothing could hold me down

though believe they tried

to shovel shit my way

I’d pick myself

dust down the pain

& start over again

poisonous unfulfilled women

cheaters & beaters

the ones who needed the booze

tried to convince it was me

I’d think I’d be the one

straighten them out

& each time

I’d be there on the ground

kicked by bad love

sex in disguise of affection

until the time

the bounce goes from the up

taking that look around

I can’t fix this

if I can’t fix me

& the key to my prison

someone is special

but today

it ain’t me

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