chewing on a hard caramel toffee

flying

thinking I’m giving my best

of what I can

maybe not as good

as what you think you’ve got

but I’m here

standing in front

ready to go

& instead

she wants to complain

I don’t do this

I never do that

which seems a bit strong

never?

& I think if I give some time

maybe this will blow over

we can get there together

but no

I think I’m so good but

I never listen to what she says

perhaps I should dispense

with the head nods

likely she sees these as affirmations

& to be fair all I’m getting now

is a dull whine buzzing in my ears

ok ok I say

you could do better than me

some real artiste or artisan

fella with better money better body

some high flyer with an all over tan

who’d pay attention love you more

some superior sapien higher brain man

but don’t forget yourself honey

I was here when your shit

went flying hit the fan

so are we going to go do this party

or sit & weep some more?

& she takes that first step

shuffling thinking another won round

climbs in the car snuffling

& I notice she don’t slam

or kiss her ass against the door

maybe just mebbe there’ll be no rain today

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