after her

I never wanted another

I wrote that out so many times

dropping the overscored notebook in the ‘bin

discarded disfigured evidence

of the deranged crazed ex lover

that I was

& knew I had to pick up the lesson

or sure as hell life would send it again

& my friend who loved me told me:

find a boring person make the change

you go after the exciting girls & women

find one that doesn’t excite you that way

took me some time to understand

my antennae were tuned to fast times

thinking these were the only way to fun

I did find one who didn’t tickle me right away

let that develop between us soft in light

& learned slow perhaps the best way

she was not boring just would not hurt me

the old ways were not always the best ways

& my antennae needed a re-tune to work right

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