yeah that regrets thing

there are very few loves I really regret

we’ve all done the crazy people stuff

counted those as steeper learning curves

not to ever do again

but Zoe

I regretted Zoe as soon as we were done

we’d dated a few times I liked her

she seemed to be liking me

& then one night after drinks good times

I fucked it all by fucking her

not one of my more successful sessions

more fumbles half conversations

halfs of is this working?

& afterwards all I felt was low

she was quiet lying back smiling

as it dawned I was her first time

we had made no ceremony of this

& then there was the morning after pill

she needed to go do that

wanted a post mortem later

on us our relationship

where we were going

suddenly all I felt was sordid

all I had were regrets

recognising there was a mismatch

expectations lives lived lovers ways

& none of this could go back in the box

without torn corners tears recriminations

I had in my clumsiness of assumptions

hurt a good person

in not being a fully serious person

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