every time the phone rang

I was hoping

dreading

it would be you

I was sick over you

in the head

my gut

my cock too

I’d made the life promise

not to call

that I did not want to do

but I was sickening

for you

me

my friends too

& if you called

I’d be back on the merry go round

up & down emotions

enjoying the ride

but waiting

for you to kill

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