they love you when they love you

I was her bass player

a little vignette

dancing queen from Abba

while she riffed on Springsteen

my home town

time that changes

no longer how her life goes

like when she was a child

in her daddy’s arms

I played the bass

as she explained her losses

the hurts that bind to sorrow

losing her way to find a home

hinting yet not exploring

how she had failed to grow

& after the gig

I picked up my bass amp & leads

made my way to the underground

never to hear from her ever again

understanding lovers

they love you when they love you

your back beat makes the sound

but forget so easy

when you’re not around

& she is letting go

Anita is dancing

taking over the dance floor

couple of ciders

in her

& she is letting go

this is her night

her weekend

her world

with friends

all the good people

she knows

loves

likes trusts

understanding

she is letting go

we never hear her complain

pains of being a single mother

creating a happy home

this is her night

her weekend

& she is letting go

dancing

completely

classic wind up merchant

taking the piss again

he says

classic wind up merchant

& you think

I asked straight

that is all I do?

he looks puzzled now

yeah y’know

I’m never sure if you’re serious

you say the most strange things

joking around

pushing at the edges

making me think about stuff

I wouldn’t ordinarily do or

think on about

just supposin’ I ventured

I was to say those things

with a straight way

out front up close?

well then

I’d think you were

downright rude obnoxious

crazy even…

so mebbe

this is why I say these things

in the way I do?

there y’go man he says

you’re doing it again….

worst part

of growing up

moving away from toys

to being interested in people

was finding the lie

everything it seemed

was made

composed of great lies

my parents marriage

school rules

rules on the street

bullshit on the tv

the closer I looked

the more I saw

the smoke & mirrors

illusion

difference between

what people said

& what they actually did

re read

I re read the book

& I don’t know

what I read the first time

but it wasn’t this

mebbe I was in a bad place

some sad face looking

out for the hook

& now

I found the humour

the sly asides

where before

I must have read

just full on

getting through the pages

searching for clues

I guess that’s what

all readers do

read what they want to

you you & you

an ancient place

with you you & you

three women of a certain age

sitting on a ridge in the sun

top of the stone quarries

where they never say the name

of the furry long ear

with the white bob tail

I took the photograph

of you you & you

you never loved me

fighting me for nine years

you learned to love me

over thirty years

& you

you loved me from the start

recognising a fellow soul

a joyful happy heart

no hurts intended

& if only

I could have traded

your places in my life

what the world

would have been