a wanting thing

pretty is as pretty does

where I projected upon

wanting her to be a good

whole decent human being

& being beautiful

she had never worked

at any of that stuff

never had the need

but I had yet to know this

putting my wishes hopes

fantasies dreams

into her dead place soul

but first I thought her love

being a slow child in feels

I built her & me up

wanting this to be more

than a one way street

worse of all I found myself

waking up bringing my hurt

in a sad sack all of my own


drinkin’ in LA

hiding out from the hotel

the lesbians going at it

knives curses fists

& worse

the make up love after

talking with Silicon Valley nerds

& when they hear

you’re from out of town

the finer points of baseball

cost of living in the city

smog masks v hero death

stink of piss in the air

panhandlers not really trying

avoiding the personality test

blind eye to turnstile jumpers

cheap gold Mexican jewellery

& later when they feel

they got to know you

death & rebirth

of their dream

dreams of ex-girlfriends

I dreamt last night

of my old now dead friend

everything was fine she said

she had lost weight

looked the best

I’d seen her in years

& over nuclear fuel deals

all done with the proper safety protocols

we looked over the harbor

out to sea

I can see so much farther now

she said, considering

I see they’ve closed the milk factory

& the power station has gone

& too soon the dream ended

but it was good to know

she was making money

from safe investments

she had never had

young girl

he wanted a young girl

liven up his life

& got one for his patience


in her twenties

whole life to live

he’d take her shopping

show her out to us

& we didn’t care

much for this

felt this lust

would end in tears

& she was

like a young girl

playing with a magnet

feeling the strong attraction

not yet understanding

what it could do

later he confided

spending on her clothes

Viagra for him

had killed his libido


‘man, she has to tell


of her dreams

every morning

wants to dance until 2

& I got work y’know’

he let her go

found some cheap insult pretext

rather than tell his truth

she left crying in the night

I guess we got that bit right

nobody had the winning ticket

tho’ at least

she had her youth