times

I felt I’d let go

lost my hold on the edge

of living

times

I cried with laughter

all they way there & back

& times

of nothing

head full of grey

eyes empty of horizon

times waiting for dawn

to finger the sky

open up for another try

at living

the dream

for flying into the wind

close to that edge

that I never wanted to contemplate

been there before

& there is nothing here

can make me go back again

not that I care for me

about the looking over

seeing an end to all of this

but those left behind

can never understand

why those choices

feel close to the divine

though I know love is not there

when nothing much matters anymore

seems to be a struggle

clutching at the air

& if I give up now

on all of you

all of me

all I would be

is one more said

they cared

& let go

for flying into the wind