see the world to come

she loved she said

being around poets

writers artists

because

we could see the world

to come

I was flattered naturally

poets & pretension

going together seamlessly

in this slender frame

though the only problem

I could foresee

was we did not much

enjoy being around her

with all that drama

she got going on

edging on crazy

the man loved her

told her all the day

could not leave her alone

edging on crazy

talking about her

he had all of that going on

full time

driving by the house

checking parked cars

asking questions

on who she’d seen

who dropped by

& he called it love

she called it control

& all we could do

was hope he’d grow

snap out of it

before he killed

what he had

wanting to have it all

as friends

I could not give you love

believe me I tried

had to walk away

from what you had going on

not that you were unkind

just that your life mine

could not find a way

be entwined

I saw your hurt face

the one I’d rather hide

turned mine away

picked up my stride

tho’ I had nowhere to go

I know you told people

I swear he has a Judy

somewhere tucked away

bitch there on the side

I found a cheap room

flopped down on the spot

picked myself up next day

a poor pay job by the hour

started over again slow

& it would be years before

we could talk once more

as friends

the least

times stood with you

side by side at the bar

& my world

outside unfolding

falling to pieces

knowing you had my back

not that we talked deep

of these things

though I knew

what was going on

with you

& likewise you knew

& when I did talk

I felt your ears to be true

friends through & through

& now you’ve gone

the great pub in the sky

or the dive bar down below

they asked me to speak

there at your funeral

to talk of who you were

& I believe you’d understand

when I told my stories

tried not to mumble

falter in my feelings

tell of the gentleman

friend hero I knew

feeling

it was the least

I could do

& nothing had happened could bring them together

once a rich mans daughter

talking through a waterfall

or something between us

where I could see her yet

that I could never pierce

get to her close

tho’ we’d done

the between the sheets thing

she was there but not there

which had the irony

this was how it was in LA

when daddy summoned her

to his lonely canyon eyrie

his once upon a time rock star exile

every summer year to sit & listen

how his life was

& she’d fly back first class

clutching a fat plushy bear

& nothing had happened

could bring them together

I was relieved when she left

telling me I had nothing going on

that she could cling to

& a wise man

keeps his counsel

when words like that

get said

loathsome creature

we bought a house together

thinking we had something going

I was the lead signature

as I earned more

repainted rebuilt parts of it

while she moaned some

it was not as grand as it should be

for her

& I had to leave

when that got too much

for me

her friends hated me

shouted how I’d lumbered her

with a house not grand enough

for her

& I offered to take it back

as i was left to being in one rented room

take over everything

pay all the bills

but oh no

I was a loathsome creature

& it was much too grand

for me

oooooooooooooooooooh you!

she screamed you make me so mad

the way you slit your eyes peer at the world

never let on you got the blues

make yourself out to never be the bad

& they say angry women tell the most truth

well I guess it’s their truth today anyway

listen I say just listen a little bit

nobody needs to know your sadness

my badness my own pit of the blues

they got their own shit going on

pains in their feet guts arms heads

yes, yes I know all that but that’s WE got

the rest of us IN the world bonds over that shit

but you you bastard won’t let go not one bit

trying to be lofty above all the crap

wanting to know which way the world drops

I kissed her about then pulled her close

listen baby you know & I know

I’m just a guy tryin’ to get by

discover a few clues get ahead of the game

& that’s what matters to me most