Fail & sometimes

we are set up to fail

we’d been out a few times

spent more time in

getting to know each other

letting the guard down

see who we really were

one night late as we prepared for bed

she began talking of her car accident

reconstructive surgery

& mute I said i had not seen a thing

the repairs were all to her head

skull fractures lines of surgery

where hair was now missing

as she lifted up her locks

to show the bald patches

where hair could no longer grow

I sat still saying nothing

as she let her hair down again

& nothing now looked amiss

I kissed her held her a while

& we slept together

got up late went about our days

she never invited me back again

would not answer my calls

this was over

whatever trap had been set

I took the fall

fell into fail

she must have seen something

there in my face

maybe I hadn’t…

said kissed cuddled held enough

whatever

I had been set up to fail

no conversation no nothing

can bring that moment back again

I went to see the woman

travelled many hours

I went to see the woman

who wants me to call her

Mother

fixed the odd jobs

painted the fence

grouting between the tiles

fixing locks here & there

& later as we sat together to eat

she asked all quiet

had I seen her silver bowl?

the one with the blue glass

it was her mothers

an antique piece

I shrug say no can’t say I have

only

she says softly

I haven’t seen it

since last you were here

& our supper continues on in silence

as I wonder why I came

why I care

to do the things need doing for her

my Father

is ten years gone now

would he want me

to continue on with this?

or would he accept

the time has come for me

to let this burden go